The excited, butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling you get at the beginning of a relationship isn’t going to last forever. That’s just how relationships work.
If the passion in your marriage seems to have come to a halt, just remember that that’s completely normal. You may have fallen out of love with your husband, but it doesn’t have to last forever.
Don’t think of falling out of love as a full stop. Think of it like going over a speed bump — things may feel rocky now, but give it some time and everything will straighten out. Soon, you’ll feel just as in love with your husband as you did on your first date.
Fulfilling relationships take time and effort from both sides. So, if you’ve fallen out of love with your husband and want to rekindle the passion you once felt for him, talk to him about it! Marriages work best when both members can be honest with each other.
Feeling like you don’t love your husband anymore can make you doubt absolutely everything. Don’t let those doubts run amok! Fall back in love with your husband using the 5 tips below.
1. Be Compassionate
When you’re with your husband day in and day out, it’s easy for the qualities you love about him to take second fiddle to his faults. But rather than scold him for not cleaning the dishes, or leaving his dirty clothes on the floor, or forgetting to take out the trash, keep your cool and talk it out.
Getting riled up over the little things in your marriage is a one-way-ticket to unhappiness. When you choose to face disagreements with understanding and compassion, arguments turn into conversations, and anger turns into love.
Being compassionate opens the door to more heart-to-hearts and allows you and your husband to trust each other. Make it so that you can go to each other for support without any uneasiness.
2. Embrace your individuality
After being married for a while, whether that be 3 years or 30, you as an individual can get replaced by you as a wife or you as your kid’s mom. You become just one piece of a bigger puzzle.
In short, your individuality is erased! The same can be said about your husband.
Giving up your individuality for a marriage takes away the uniqueness of your relationship. It dulls things down until the flame in the marriage completely dies out.
So take the time to think about who you want to be besides a wife. Think about your goals outside of marriage. Once you and your husband both have an identity outside of your relationship together, life’s bigger picture will come into view.
Suddenly, disagreements won’t seem as big. All the little resentments you felt over your husband’s faults will no longer get in the way of you seeing him for who he really is — the man you fell in love with.
3. Spend time apart
We’ve all heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but we don’t often utilize that lesson to our relationship’s advantage.
Being around the same person all the time and going through the same daily routine with them over and over for years on end, is enough to make that special person seem not so special anymore.
All the things they do that used to excite you seem commonplace — even boring!
Get rid of the boredom in your marriage by taking some time apart from your husband. Focus on a skill, hobby, or talent you’ve always wanted to master. Go on walks or day trips to different places. Whatever you do, don’t bring your husband!
Being apart from your husband helps you maintain your individuality and sense of self, while also reminding you of the things you love and miss about having your husband around.
When the two of you are together again, you’ll both have new stories to tell, and a refreshed outlook on your relationship.
4. Give him your full attention
With cell phones, smart TVs, text-receiving watches, and a busy schedule to top it all off, our attention is constantly being pulled in more directions than it should be. So, it’s easy for quality time with your husband to be interrupted by notifications and other distractions.
Even though you live with your husband and see him every day, the benefits of time set aside to spend together with no distractions should never be overlooked.
Leave your work at the door when you come home and spend time with your husband completely disconnected from everything else around you.
Really live in the present with him. Talk, listen, and enjoy each other’s company. After years of marriage, times like these can be a thing of the past, but they shouldn’t be.
Being able to open up to each other without distractions is an amazing way to strengthen the trust between you, and to re spark the love you have for him.
5. Surprise him with loving gestures
When you first started dating your husband, what were the things you did to show him you loved him? What did you do to show him you were thinking of him, and cared about him?
After being married for some time, all those little loving gestures you used to do can fall by the wayside, but that’s one mistake that leads to a boring, loveless marriage.
Remind yourself of all the amazing things about your husband that made you fall in love with him in the first place. Then, use the love, appreciation, and respect you feel towards him to power new loving gestures.
Take care of his chores for him, cook his favorite meal, leave him love notes when you go out, or even get him flowers. Doing sweet things like this will not only let him know that you still care about him but will also remind you of all the love you have to give.
Falling out of love with your husband can feel like the end of an era, but with a bit of effort and positive thinking, it can be the start of an even better one.
You fell in love with him once, and you can do it again, and again, and again. Love is like that. What can you do?
All marriages have their rough patches. What’s waiting on the other side of that rough patch depends on the amount of time and effort you and your husband are willing to put into the relationship.
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