After the honeymoon phase of marriage is over, it’s easy for the excitement to die away. This is natural, and should be expected by every newly wed.
But unfortunately, with the end of the honeymoon phase also comes the very common problem of taking your husbands for granted. They think that, since they already ‘won’ their husband and are going to be with him for the rest of their lives, they don’t have to put any effort into the relationship.
Well, no matter how close you and your husband may be, there is always room for improvement. Look at your own marriage and really examine it.
Are you treating your husband differently now than when you first got married?
Do you still act the same way?
Both husbands and wives are guilty of taking their spouses for granted. The important thing is to realize what you’re doing and stop yourself before you do it again.
If you’re a wife, here are a few things you might be doing to take your husband for granted...
You don’t ask about his day
Whether he spent his day at the office or out seeing his friends, asking your husband about how his day went is one of the most effective – and easiest – ways of showing him you’re there for him.
Through good and bad, thick and thin, your husband needs to know that you’re always there to listen to him. When you aren’t that person to talk to, or that shoulder to lean on, it’s only a matter of time before he’ll feel uncared for.
focus on the kids more than him
Before the kids came along, it was just you and your husband. He had all your love, affection, and attention. But once the kids were born, all that changed.
It’s important to focus your life around your children, but when the kids start getting in the way of your relationship with your husband, that’s a problem. Not leaving time for your husband every day tells him that you don’t need him.
You kick his ideas to the curb
It’s good to be confident about your opinions, beliefs, and ideas, but don’t let your confidence turn from something good to something harmful. While your own ideas may be good, always keep an open mind when it comes to what your husband has to say.
Knocking down his opinions and ideas is the best way to make him feel insignificant and unheard. The saying “don’t knock it till you try it” applies to this situation. To stop taking your husband for granted, remember to always give him the benefit of the doubt.
You make important decisions without consulting him
Marriage is a team effort – it can’t be one sided. That means, every big decision involving the two of you should be made by the two of you. Doctors appointments, the kids’ school, a new car, vacations – both you and your husband need to have a say in every decision.
When one spouse makes a decision without consulting the other, this not only opens the door for mistakes, but makes the spouse who wasn’t involved feel left out.
You boss him around
One common stereotype that wives have to deal with is the idea that wives turn into nags after they’ve been married for a while. The thing about this stereotype, though, is that it has a pretty big connection to reality.
Wives who constantly order their husbands around show their husbands that they don’t trust them to make their own decisions. Of course asking him to do a few things every now and then is to be expected, but if it gets to the point where most of what you say to him is orders, something has to change.
You focus on the negatives more than the positives
No relationship can survive without positivity. Think about the caricature of the optimist versus the pessimist. The optimist always has a smile on their face. They face every day believing that it’s a new opportunity for greatness. On the other hand, the pessimist only sees the world through a critical lens. Every day is a challenge that can’t be beat.
When it comes to marriage, be an optimist. In tough situations, always think of the glass as half full. When your marriage becomes consumed by stress and negativity, all that you and your husband will get out of it is stress and negativity.
In addition to that, when your husband makes a mistake, don’t bash him over the head with it. Focus on the things he’s done right. Compliment him. Make him feel appreciated. He’ll feel better, and you’ll feel better too.
Marriage is incredibly challenging, but can be so rewarding. When it comes to forming a relationship and keeping it going, you really do reap what you sow.
Now that you know how wives may take their husbands for granted, you have the opportunity to make it better.
Check out our 'Gifts for Husbands' collection