Believe it or not, even the happiest couples have their moments of doubt. No relationship is perfect, and experiencing disagreements with your spouse is nothing to be alarmed over. But when those disagreements outweigh the agreements, and the comfort you once felt in each other’s company has disappeared, that’s a different story.
If you’re currently going through a rough patch in your marriage, or feel that your marriage has reached the end of its life, know that you are not alone. Hundreds of thousands of Americans go through divorce each year.
Even so, many people, whether they’re going through a divorce or not, have trouble pinpointing what it is about their relationship that made them think about calling it quits.
To gain a better understanding of where your marriage stands, take a look at the five most common reasons people are pushed to divorce in the USA.
The 5 Reasons for Divorce
1. Lack of Intimacy
It’s completely normal for relationships to lose passion and excitement overtime. They often start with physical intimacy at the forefront, but as relationships progress, it’s important that emotional, spiritual, and mental support become more prominent.
That’s a sign of maturity in a relationship, but it doesn’t mean that physical intimacy should be lost.
If you find that intimacy in your relationship is lacking, there are simple things you can do to fix that. Hand holding, massages, hugs, cuddles, and kisses on the cheek are all forms of physical intimacy that can make your relationship feel more loving and fulfilling.
Physical intimacy can’t be the main focus of a healthy relationship, but it should never be discarded. When partners stop being physically intimate, it’s easy for one or both of them to feel unloved or uncared for.
Betrayal is the fastest way to ruin a relationship. The desire to find excitement outside of a marriage that has grown unsatisfying is the leading reason for cheating. But it’s also a leading cause of divorce.
Finding out that your partner has cheated on you changes the entire dynamic of your relationship. It completely ruins trust, and being able to trust your partner is key to a healthy relationship.
Even though some couples do still stay together after one of them is revealed to be a cheater, there will always be a divide between them.
If you’re unsatisfied with your marriage, talk to your spouse about it. Communication is the greatest tool.s always the answer.
3. Conflict and Arguing
When partners don’t choose to communicate, or can’t talk things over without arguing, there really isn’t much holding their relationship together.
Similarly, psychological, emotional, and of course physical abuse are all signs of an unhealthy relationship. If you don’t feel that your partner listens to you or supports you, or if they make you doubt yourself, the truth is, you may be better off without them.
4. Lack of Compatibility
Divorce isn’t often something that happens all of a sudden. In most cases, it’s the result of years of effort trying to keep a marriage together, only to realize that it’s just not worth all that pain.
No matter how in love two people are at the start, it’s always a possibility that they will fall out of love over time. Growing apart and losing your attraction for your partner is not always something that you can help. In situations like that, sometimes ending the marriage is better than drawing things out.
Falling out of love can be caused by a lack of compatibility in a relationship.
Discovering incompatibility in a partner is very common in marriages between young people, or people who got married before dating for long enough. When two people don’t take the time to get to know each other beyond the surface level at the start, being in a long-term relationship together will likely be a challenge.
5. Financial Problems
You and your partner are meant to be a team in everything you do. So, when disagreements arise, especially if they’re related to money, the tension and stress involved can be the final straw in a marriage.
Before marriage, couples should ask each other about their spending and saving habits. If one partner prefers to save for the future, and the other would rather spend money as it comes in, it’s only a matter of time before their differences catch up with them.
In all situations involving money and big expenses, communication and compromise are indispensable.
Despite the common idea that 50% of all marriages end in divorce, the divorce rate in the US is actually at one of the lowest points in the last 100 years.
In fact, according to Insider, the global news publication, the current divorce rate is 2.9 divorces per 1,000 marriages, making it about the same as the rate at the start of the 1950s. In comparison, the divorce rate was 3.4 per 1,000 marriages in the 1940s and went as high as 5.3 per 1,000 marriages in 1979.
Today’s low divorce rate may be due to the fact that younger generations simply aren’t getting married, or are getting married later in life and at a smaller volume than before. It may also be due to the high rates of education in the country.
As it turns out, the older, wealthier, and more educated you are, the more likely you are to have a successful marriage.
Most divorces that take place now are due to older generations who have already been married for years. In fact, according to Hampton Roads Legal Services, divorce among 65+ year olds has doubled since 1980.
If you feel that your marriage is on the rocks, communication with your partner and marriage counseling can change everything. But if things still don’t work out, there’s no shame in taking control of your life and just moving on.